Forgive Me Father
An elderly Frenchman who is a Catholic goes to confession and says to the Priest: "Father, I have been a very bad man. I have come to seek forgiveness for my sins".

The Priest can see that the man has a great deal on his mind and says: "Tell me what it is my son. It cannot be that bad".

The man replies: "In the Second World War a young Jewish lady came to me and asked me to hide her from the Germans. I did and made a place for her in the attic".

"But my son", replie... more

They Didn't Have Nike's In Those Days
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we'll talk about it."

A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if he could use the car. His father said, "Son, I'm really proud of you. You brought your grades up, studied the bible well, but you didn't... more

Silent Battle With The Pope
Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to leave Italy. There was, of course, a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would have a religious debate with a leader of the Jewish community. If the Jewish leader won the debate, the Jews would be permitted to stay in Italy. If the Pope won, the Jews would have to leave.

The Jewish community met and picked an aged Rabbi, Moishe, to represent them in the debate. Rabbi Moishe, however... more

Pennies And Seconds
A man was wandering in the woods, pondering all the mysteries of life and his own personal problems. The man couldn't find the answers, so he sought help from God.

"God? You there, God?" he asked.

"Yes. What is it, my son?" God answered.

"Mind if I ask a few questions?" the man asked.

"Go ahead, my son, anything."

"God, what is a million years to you?"

God answered, "A million years to me is only a second."

The man asked, "God, what is a mil... more

Good vs. Evil
One Day the Devil challenged God to a baseball game.

Smiling God proclaimed, "You don't have a chance, I have Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, and all the greatest players up here."

"Yes," snickered the devil, "but I have all the umpi... more

Destroying The World
Noah's Ark... If it happened today

And the Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In six months I'm going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil people are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people, and two of every kind of living thing on the planet. I am commanding you to build an Ark."

And in a flash of lightning, He delivered the specifications for an Ark. "Okay," said Noah, trembling with fear and fumbling with the blueprints.

... more

Would You Give Up?
A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself: "I'd give anything to sink this next putt."

A stranger walks up to him and whispers: "Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?"

The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless but also that perhaps this is a good omen and will put him in the right frame of mind to make the difficult putt and says, "OK."

And sinks the putt. ... more

Jesus, Are You There?
A drunk stumbles along a Baptismal service on a Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to stumble down into the water and stands next to the Minister. The Minister turns, notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk looks back and says, "Yes sir, I am."

The Minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up.

"Have you found Jesus?" the Minister asked.

"No, I didn't!" said the drunk.

The Mini... more

Executive Recruit
A successful female executive stood before the Pearly Gates, facing St. Peter himself. "Strange," mused St. Peter, "we've never had an executive make it this far before. I'm not sure what to do with you. While I think it over, I'll let you experience a day here and a day in Hell."

So the female exec spent an entire day lounging on clouds, playing the harp, having intelligent civilized discussions with great philosophers. Her 24 hours passed quickly and she was then transported to H... more

Married Couple
On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple had a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside Heaven's Gate waiting on St.Peter to do an intake. While waiting, they wondered if they could possibly get married in Heaven.

St. Peter finally showed up and they asked him. St. Peter said, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has asked. "Let me go find out." and he left.

The couple sat and waited for an answer...for a couple of months...... more