Pope Drive
The Pope had just finished a tour of the East Coast and was
taking a limousine to the airport.

Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he
could drive for awhile. Well, the chauffeur didn't
have much of a choice, so the chauffeur climbs in the back
of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel.

The Pope proceeds to hop on 95 and starts accelerating to see what
the limo could do. Well he gets to about 90 mph and, WHAM !, there are
the blue ... more

Heaven Clock
A guy dies and goes to heaven. It's a slow day for St. Peter, so, upon passing the entrance test, St. Peter says, "I'm not very busy, today, why don't you let me show you around?"

The guy thinks this is a great idea and graciously accepts the offer. St. Peter shows him all the sights, the golf course, the reading room and library, the observation room, the cafeteria and finally, they come to a HUGE room full of clocks.

The guy asks, "What's up with these clocks?"

... more

Dying Preacher
An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS agent and his Lawyer (both church members), to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything. Both the IRS agent and Lawyer were touched and flattered that the old preacher woul... more

Vows Of Silence
There was a priest who decided to enter a monastery. This monastery had strict vows of silence. On his first day, the head abbot told him he could only speak two words every ten years.

At the end of his first ten years, the head abbot told him he could speak his first two words. "Bed hard!" he said. The abbot recorded this in a book.

At the end of his second ten years, he was told he could speak his next two words. "Food bad!" he said. The abbot recorded this in the book a... more

The Pope vs. Moishe
About a century or two ago, the Pope challenged the Jewish community of Rome to a debate.

The Jews looked around for a champion who could defend their faith, but no one wanted to volunteer. It was too risky. So they finally picked an old man named Moishe who spent his life sweeping up after people to represent them. Being old and poor, he had less to lose, so he agreed. He asked only for one addition to the rules of debate. Not being used to saying very much, he asked that neithe... more

Improvements in Hell
An engineer died and ended up in Hell. He was not pleased with the level of comfort in Hell, and began to redesign and build improvements. After a while, they had toilets that flush, air conditioning, and escalators. Everyone grew very fond of him.
One day God called to Satan to mock him, "So, how's it going down there in Hell?"

Satan replied, "Hey, things are great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is g... more

God Takes a Vacation
God was tired and worn out. So he spoke to St. Peter.

"You know, I need a vacation. Got any suggestions where I should go?"

St. Peter, thinking, nodded his head, then said, "How about Jupiter? It's nice and warm there this time of the year."

God shook His head before saying, "No, too much gravity. You know how that hurts my back."

"Hmmm," St. Peter reflected. "Well, how about Mercury?"

"No way!" God muttered. "It's way too hot for ... more

Bhagwan and the Lotto
Bholaji finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask Bhagwan for help. He goes into the temple and begins to pray.

“Oh Bhagwan, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery.”

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Bholaji goes back to the temple. "Bhagwan please let me win t... more

Not Tonight
After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth, so I want you to kiss her."

Adam answered, "Yes, Lord, but what is a 'kiss'?"

The Lord gave a brief description to Adam, who then took Eve by the hand and led her to a nearby bush.

A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you, Lord. That was enjoyable."

And the Lord replied, "Yes, Adam, I thought you might enjoy that.... more

The Carpenter Son


One day Jesus was out for a walk, strolling near the walls surrounding heaven, when he heard an old man's voice call from the other side.

"Hello? Hello?"

Jesus replied, "Who is it?"

"Just a poor, old carpenter searching for his son," the old man replied.

Jesus' heart leapt with joy and he called out, "Joseph?"

The voice answered back, "Pinocchio?"
... more