Bush Talking
George W. Bush, in an airport lobby, noticed a man in a long flowing
white robe with a long flowing white beard and flowing white hair. The
man had a staff in one hand and some stone tablets under the other arm.

George W. approached the man and inquired, "Aren't you Moses."

The man ignored George W. and stared at the ceiling.

George W. positioned himself more directly in the man's view and asked
again, "Aren't you Moses".

The man continued to ... more

A Christian Deed
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods.

"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look and saw a 7 foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again and the bear... more

Useful Sermon
A man once spent days looking for his new hat.
Finally, he decided that he'd go to church on Sunday
and sit at the back. During the service he would
sneak out and grab a hat from the rack at the front door.

On Sunday, he went to church and sat at the back. The
sermon was about the 10 commandments. He sat
through the whole sermon and instead of sneaking out he
waited until the sermon was over and went to talk to the
minister.

"Father, I came here... more

Jewish Mother
A Jewish mother walks her son to the school bus corner on his first day
of kindergarten.

"Behave, my Buibaleh" she says.

"Take good care of yourself and think about your mother, Tataleh! And come
right back home on the bus, Schein Kindaleh. Your Mommy loves you a lot, my
Ketsaleh!"

At the end of the school day the bus comes back and she runs to her son
and hugs him.

"So what did my Pupaleh learn on his first day of school?" ... more

A Jewish Mother
A Jewish mother is walking down the street with her two young sons.
A passerby asks her how old the boys are.
"The doctor is three" the mother answers, "and the lawyer is two."
... more

Religious Mother
Four Catholic ladies were having coffee.

The first Catholic woman tells her friends "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him "Father."

The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him, "Your Grace."

The third Catholic mother says, "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, "Your Eminence."

Since the fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence, the fi... more

An Embarrassing Mistake
A drunken man staggered into a Catholic church, sat down in the Confessional and said nothing. The priest is waiting and waiting and waiting.

The priest coughs to attract the drunk man's attention, but still the man says nothing.

The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak.

Finally the drunk replies, "No use knockin,' pal. There's no paper."
... more

Knows To Pray
As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?"
One man stepped forward. "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray."

"Good," said the captain, "you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're one short." ... more

Living Longer
A man went to see his Rabbi and said, "Rabbi, if I give up drinking, partying all night, chasing the opposite sex and start coming to Synagogue regularly instead, will I live longer?"

"No," the Rabbi replied, "It will just feel longer."... more

Leaving The Convent
In the convent a young nun went to see the mother superior.
"Mother, I want to quit the veil."
"But why, my child?"
"To become a prostitute."
"What? What are you saying?"
"I said I want to become a prostitute, mother."
"Oh, you had me worried. I thought you said protest... more