The Buttons
One day, George bush travels to Afghanistan to attempt peace talks with Osama bin Laden.

The two sit down to talk, and George asks him if peace was possible, then Osama bin Laden pushed a button, and a fist on a spring came out of the wall, and punched George in the face. George then asked if there was any way to settle their differences, and Osama pushed another button, and the fist hit George in the nuts. George then asked to reschedule the talks in Washington, Osa... more

Animal Bureaucrats
An engineer, an accountant, a chemist and a bureaucrat were bragging about how smart their dogs are.
The engineer called to his dog, "T-square, do your stuff". The dog took out paper and pen, and drew a circle, a squareand a triangle. Everyone agreed he was smart.
The accountant called, "Sliderule, do your stuff". The pooch went to the kitchen, got a dozen cookies and made four stacks of three. Everyone was impressed.
The chemist called, "Beaker, do your stuff." The dog went to the... more

Nixon's Desease
A young lady goes to a new doctor for an examination, and he discovers
that she has crabs. He thinks to himself ,"How am I going to her
that she has crabs?"

After the exam he tells her to get dressed and meet him back in his office.
Once there he proceeds to tell her that she has a very unusual condition.
She is quite concerned and asks him what it is. He responds that she is
suffering from Nixon's Disease.

She says, "What?"

He again respo... more

Artificial Intelligence
A lady bought a new Lexus. Cost a bundle. Two days later, she brought it back, complaining that the radio was not working.

"Madam," said the sales manager, "the audio system in this car is completely automatic. All you need to do is tell it what you want to listen to, and you will hear exactly that!"

She drove out, somewhat amazed and a little confused. She looked at the radio and said, "Nelson." The radio responded, "Ricky or Willie?" She was astounded. If she wanted Beet... more

Powerful Bush
A reporter cornered George W. Bush at a press conference:
"Many say the only reason you were elected for President is due to the enormous power and influence of your father."

"That notion is ridiculous!" mocked George Jr. "It doesn't matter how powerful the man is. He was only allowed to vote onc... more

Taliban TV Guide
MONDAYS:
8:00 - "Husseinfeld"
8:30 - "Mad About Everything"
9:00 - "Suddenly Sanctions"
9:30 - "The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show"
10:00 - "Allah McBeal"

TUESDAYS:
8:00 - "Wheel of Terror and Fortune"
8:30 - "The Price is Right If Usama Says Its Right"
9:00 - "Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest Things"
9:30 - "Afganistans Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers"
10:00 - "Buffy The Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer"

WEDNESDAYS:
... more

Five Surgeons
Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the
operating table.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating
table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."


The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything
inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best, everything
inside them is in alphabetical order." <... more

The Firing Squad
Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and George W. Bush were set to face a firing squad in a small Central American country. Bill Clinton was the first one placed against the wall and just before the order was given he yelled out, "Earthquake!" The firing squad fell into a panic and Bill jumped over the wall and escaped in the confusion.

Al Gore was the second one placed against the wall. The squad was reassembled and Al pondered what he had just witnessed. Again before the order was given Al y... more

God's Letter
A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.
Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, they decided to send it to President Bush.

The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill.

President Bush thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The litt... more

Bush, Einstein and Picasso
Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?"

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"

Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativit... more