Democratic Navigation
A party of Democrats was climbing in the Alps .
After several hours they became hopelessly lost.
One of them studied the map for some time, turning
it up and down, sighting on distant landmarks,
consulting his compass, and finally the sun.
Finally he said, ' OK see that big mountain over there?'
'Yes', answered the others eagerly.
'Well, according to the map, we're standing on top of... more

President Favor
George W. Bush is sitting in a hotel lobby, planning his speech to a group of businessmen, when a little man walks up to him. "Excuse me, Mr. Bush, but my name is Steve Case, and I'm here with an extremely important client tonight. We're going to see your speech tonight, and it would be a great help to me if, when we walk by, you could impress him by saying, 'Hello, Steve'."
Bush readily agrees, and fifteen minutes later, the little man walks by, deep in conversation with his client. ... more

The Village Idiot
One day God was hanging out at the Pearly Gates with St. Paul.

"I need to find someone to run for president," he said after a while.

Attentive to his boss' needs, St. Paul started naming off a few qualified candidates.

"Nah, I want that guy," he said pointing to a drunken Texas governor pissing off a balcony.

"You've got to be kidding," said St. Paul, "Not only is he dumber than a box of rocks, he's got drinking and drug problems."

"I don't care... more

Politician And Sperms
Question : What does a politician and a sperm have in common?

Answer : Only one out of millions will become a human b... more

Who Slapped Clinton?
Bill Clinton, George Bush, a spectacular looking blonde, and a frightfully awful looking fat lady were in a train carriage. After several minutes of the trip, the train passes through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard.

When they leave the tunnel, Clinton has a big red slap mark on his cheek.

The blonde thought, 'that rascal Clinton wanted to touch me and by mistake he must have put his hand on the fat lady, who in turn must have slapped his fac... more

The Three Surgeons
One day there were three surgeons who were arguing loudly over who was the best surgeon.
"Oh yeah," the first one yells. "One day there was this guy who came in with all his fingers cut off, I sewed them back onto his hand, and he's playing piano for the queen of England!"
"Oh, that's nothing," shouts the second one. "One day this guy came in with his arms and legs cut off, I sewed back onto his body, and now he's on the Olympic track and swimming teams!"
"Oh, that isn't jack co... more

Saddam Is History
It was the first day of school and a new student named Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said "Give me liberty, or give me Death"?

She saw a sea of blank faces, except Martinez, who had his hand up, "Patrick Henry 1775."

"Very Good"! Who said "Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth? "

Again, n... more

Get Out Saddam!
One evening Saddam decides to visit his most intelligent wife, opens the bedroom door, and finds her studying. "Ah," he says, "she must be studying for that history exam." So he strolls through the palace to the bedroom of the wife who is the best cook, opens the door, and sees her plucking this large bird. "In the name of Allah, get the kitchen staff to do that for you next time!" He then decides to go to the wife who is the best lover, opens her bedroom door, and is shocked to see instead... more

A Dying Democrat
An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. "I want to become a Democrat. Get me a change of registration form." "You can do it", the lawyer said, "But why? You'll be dead soon, why do you want to become a Democrat?" "That's my business! Get me the form!"


Four days later, the old man got his registration changed. His lawyer was at his bedside making sure his bill would be paid. Suddenly the old man was racked with fits of coughing, and it... more

Republican In The Porch
A little old lady calls 911. When the operator answers she yells, "Help, send the police to my house right away! There's a damn Democrat on my front porch and he's playing with himself."

"What?" the operator exclaimed. "I said there is a damn Democrat on my front porch playing with himself and he's weird; I don't know him and I'm afraid! Please send the police!" the little old lady repeated.

"Well, now, how do you know he's a Democrat?"

"Because, you damn fool,... more