Fairy Tale
"Daddy," a little girl asked her father, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? "

"No, sweetheart," he answered. "Some begin with 'If I am elect... more

Terrible Smell
One day President Bush was visiting Queen Elizabeth and she decided to take him for a tour of London in the Royal Carriage. The carriage was being pulled by six Royal Stallions and one of them suddenly passed gas. It sounded like a 21-gun salute it was so loud! The smell permeated the inside of the carriage and the Queen was totally devastated.

"I appoligize profusely for the terrible smell inside the carriage", she said.

"Oh, that's alright", said the George, "for a minu... more

Bush In Heaven
Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?"

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"

Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity. ... more

Bastard
Clinton walks out into his garden one day and in the snow he says "bastard" written in piss. He is so outraged he goes into the oval office and calls the CIA and FBI to tell them to find out who did this horrible thing to his garden. So they go out and investigate and when they return they say "Well Bill, we've got bad news and we've got worse news, which one would you like to hear first?" And Bill says, "What's the bad news?" The agent replies, "It was Al Gore." Aghast Bill yells, "That di... more

Shark Fishing
One day the pope was in from Italy and after a rough week of meeting arch bishops and other religious figures, he decided to go see the Galveston shore in Texas.

When he arrives in his popemobile he sees a man strugling for his life aginst a shark.

Upon a closer look he notices that it is John Kerry.

Horrified he starts to call for help when a speedboat pulls up along side Mr Kerry, with GW and Dick Cheney on board. Dick Checny leans over and pulls him out. ... more

Clintons At a Yankees Game
The President and Mrs. Clinton are in the front row just above the dug
out at a Yankees game. The row behind them is taken up with Secret
Service agents. One of them leans over and whispers something in the
President's ear.

President Clinton pauses, then grabs Hillary by the scruff of the neck
and heaves her over the railing. She falls 10 feet to the top of the
dug out, kicking and screaming obscenities all the way down, and after
she lands, the President ... more

Land of OZ
The last four U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado in Kansas, and off they spin to the Land of OZ. After threatening trials and tribulations, they finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard.

"WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD? WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly:
"I had a terrible time with Iran, so I've come for some courage."

"No problem" says the Wizard, "WHO IS NEXT?"
Ronald Reagan steps forward, "We... more

Dubya
While walking down the street, Dubya was struck by a large wheel of cheese that fell out of SwissAir flight 19.

Sadly. George does not make it and his soul arrives in heaven and he is met by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

"Welcome George!"...says St. Peter..."we seldom see Republicans here, so we're not sure what to do."

"No problem Pete, let me in I'm worthy"...says Dubya.

"I'd like to but I have orders from the Man Himself, he says you have to spend... more

Clintons on Vacation
Last summer, the President and Mrs. Clinton were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. On a venture one day, they stopped at a service station to fill up the car with gas. It seemed that the owner of the station was once Hillary's high school love.

They exchanged hellos, and went on their way.

As they were driving on to their destination, Bill put his arm around Hillary and said, "Well, honey, if you had stayed with him, you would be the wife of a service station ow... more

Tragedy
John Kerry visits a primary school and sits in on one of the classes, which is in the middle of a discussion of words and their meaning.

The teacher asks Mr. Kerry if he would like to lead the discussion of the word "tragedy".

So, the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy."

One little boy stands up and offers: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that ... more