Your Clock's Spinning
A guy dies and goes to heaven. It's a slow day for St. Peter, so, upon passing the entrance test, St. Peter says, "I'm not very busy today, why don't you let me show you around?" The guy thinks this is a great idea and graciously accepts the offer.

St. Peter shows him all the sights - the golf course, the reading room and library, the observation room, the cafeteria and finally, they come to a HUGE room full of clocks. The guy asks, "What's up with these clocks?"

St. Peter exp... more

Should They Be Underneath The Pants?
White House staffers were perplexed one morning to see Bill Clinton walk in to the Oval Office with a pair of woman's panties on his arm. Somewhat used to the president's tendencies, they let it go and went about their daily tasks.

The day wore on; several VIPs were ushered in and out of the Oval Office for meetings with Clinton about important affairs of the state. Each one left with a puzzled expression on their face but no one dared ask about the President's personal business. ... more

Hillary with St. Peter
Hillary dies and goes to Heaven where she meets St. Peter. She notices that there are clocks everywhere. She asks St. Peter why are there so many clocks here. St. Peter tells her that each clock represents a person on earth and that every time a person tells a lie, the clock ticks off one second.

St. Peter explains that the one clock has never moved because it belonged to mother Theresa and she never told a lie her whole life. The next clock belonged to Abraham Lincoln and since... more

Janet???
First Lady Hillary Clinton and Attorney General Janet Reno were having one of those girl to girl talks, and Hillary says to Janet, "You're lucky that you don't have to put up with men having sex with you. I have to put up with Bill, and there is no telling where he last had his pecker."

Janet responded, "Just because I am esthetically challenged (that's "politically correct" for ugly) doesn't mean I don't have to fight off unwelcome sexual advances."

Hillary asks, "Well,... more

Dr. Seuss goes to Washington
I am Starr. Starr I are.
I'm a brilliant barri-star.
I'm here to ask, as you'll soon see,
Did you grope Miss Lew-in-sky?
Did you grope her in your house?
Did you grope beneath her blouse?
Did she give you gifts and ties?
Were you spied by prying eyes?

I did not do that here or there!
I did not do that anywhere!
I did not do that in a chair!
I went not near her giant hair!
I did not join ....... more

Monica's Fear
A surgeon went to check on his very famous patient after an operation. She was awake , so he examined her. " You'll be fine," he said. She asked, "How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again Doctor?"

The Surgeon seemed to pause which alarmed the girl. "What's the matter Doctor? I will be alright won't I ?"

He replied, 'Yes , you'll be fine Miss Lewinski. It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out.... more

Liars
A bus of politicians is driving by a farm where a man lives alone. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch. The man comes out and finding the politicians, buries them.

The next day, the police are at the farm questioning the man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police officer. "Were they all dead?"

To which the man replied, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie.... more