What Is Politics?

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What's politics?"

Dad says, " Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs so we'll call you the People. The nanny, we'll consider her he Working Class. Now your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense."

... more

Presidential Bird

Hillary Clinton went into a pet shop and found a beautiful parrot. "Does this parrot talk?" she asked. "Yes, he does," the manager told her. "But why is this one only $50 and all the others are $500?" "Well, ma'am," the manager explained, "not everyone would want to own this parrot since he spent years in a whore house and his language is somewhat foul."

"Well, I want him," she said.

"Suit yourself," the manager shrugged. When Hillary got the parrot back to the White House, she unc... more

Hillary's Got Crabs
Hillary Clinton goes to a new doctor in Washington for an examination and he discovers that she has crabs.

He thinks to himself 'How am I going to tell the 1st lady that she has crabs?' After the exam he tells her to get dressed and meet him back in his office.

Once there he proceeds to tell her that she has a very unusual condition. She is quite concerned and asks him what it is. He responds that she is suffering from Nixon's Disease.

She says "What?"

He again respo... more

Puffy Cheeks
Why are Monica Lewinsky's cheeks so puffy?

She's withholding evid... more

Bill & Monica
What did Bill Clinton say to Monica?

I told you to lick my erection, not wreck my elec... more

The First Bun In The Oven
Hillary went in for her yearly checkup. When she was finished, she asked her gynecologist how things looked. He said he was pleased and that she is in great shape, but, that she was pregnant!

She told the doctor there was no way, but he said that she most definitely was a month pregnant. Well, she stormed out of the office and went to the receptionist and took the phone and called the White House.

When the operator answered she said that it was Hillary and that she wanted to ta... more

Al Gore
How are Al Gore and a tampon alike?

They're both stuck up pus... more

Try And Talk Your Way Out Of This One
Bill Clinton dies and is on his way to Hell. At Hell's gates he meets Satan. Satan tells Clinton that, since Hell is full, Clinton will be replacing one of the current inhabitants. He will be given the choice of who he will replace forever in Hell.

Three doors appear before Clinton. The first door opens. Behind it is Newt Gingrich. He's being forced to pound big rocks into little rocks. Upon seeing Newt in this predicament, Clinton cringes and says, "That looks painful. I don't... more

Presidential Policy
President Clinton was looking for a call girl and he found three such ladies in a local bar: a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette.

To the blonde he said "I am the President of the United States of America. How much will it cost me to spend some time with you?"

The blonde replied, "For you, Mr. President, it will cost $500."

To the Redhead he asked the same question. She replied "I will spend all the time you want for $1,000."

When he approached the brunette he asked ... more

Political Bull Sh!t
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.

They should both be changed regularly.and for the same re... more