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Fired
Boss: You are Fired!
Employee: Why? I am such a steady worker!
Boss: Yes, If you were any steadier you would be motion... more



Differences
Q: What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A: About 45 Pounds.
Q: And between a husband and a boyfriend?
A: about 45 min... more



Lawyers
Q: What do lawyers use as birth-control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are mo... more



Blonde's Pain
A blonde touches her knee with her finger and yells Ouch. The same with her elbow and ear. The doctor examines her and says: Madam, your finger is br... more



Bad News
A Doctor tells a patient: ''I have bad news for you. You have cancer and Alzhiemer's disease''. The man replies: ''Well, thank god I don't have cance... more



Man's Heart
''Any woman that thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too hi... more



Stupid Husband
A husband returns home to find his wife in bed with a naked man. ''what are you doing'', he shouts. The wife replies to her lover: ''I told you he was stupi... more



Blondes and UFOs
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of ... more



Talking
A husband was asked: Do you talk to your wife after sex?
His answer: Depends, if I can find a p... more



Punishment
Pupil: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
Teacher: no, of course not.
Pupil: good, because i didn't do my home... more




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Featured Joke
A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh, right up just below her bikini line. She also wants him to put "Happy Thanksgiving" under the turkey. So the guy does it and it comes out looking real good.
The woman then instructs him to put a Santa Clause with "Merry Christmas" up on her left thigh. So the guy does it and it comes out looking good too.

As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo ar...more

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