Counselling Genious
After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counselling. They had been at each other's throat for some time and felt that this was their last straw.
When they arrived at the counsellor's office, the counsellor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion. "What seems to be the problem?" Immediately, the husband held his long face down without anything to say. On the other hand... more

Pinching
As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Silverman became increasingly
furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a
gorgeous young blonde woman.
As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly
whirled, slapped Mr. Silverman, and said, 'That will teach you to
pinch!'
Bewildered, Mr. Silverman was halfway to the parking lot with his
wife when he choked, 'I . . . I didn't pinch that girl.'
'Of course you didn't,' replied his ... more

Different Father
A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife, "Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. Now I want to assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for, and your answer cannot take that all that away. But, I must know, did he have a differe... more

Married For The Money
Jack's grandfather left him ten million dollars, and the next week Diane agreed to marry him.

After three months of married life, Jack noticed that his beautiful new wife was ignoring him more and more. On the rare occasion that she would go to bed with him she would be indifferent, or even worse, called out other men's names!

Whenever they went out in public, she ignored him and flirted with other men. Finally, he decided to confront her.

'Diane,' he said, 'the o... more

Get Me The Manager
A rather attractive woman goes up to the register in an upscale hamburger establishment. She gestures alluringly to a large man who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his cheek, which is slowly turning a crimson red.

"Are you the owner?"

she asks, now softly stroking his face with both hands."No" he replies, "I''m just the manager."

"Can you get ... more

Working Together
At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?"

The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you're out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?"

Again the little b... more

Old But Horny
Two old ladies were sitting on rocking chairs in their retirement home. One asked, "Do you still ever get horny?"

"Oh, yes!" was the reply.

"What do you do about it?" asked the first.

"I suck on a lifesaver." was the reply.

The first lady sat there for a long while pondering the answer. Finally she couldn't stand it any longer, and asked,

"Who drives you to the beach?"... more

Men Super Store
Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors.

The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return. A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping center to find some husbands...

First floor
The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and... more

What Do I Look Like?
A newlywed couple just moved into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?"
The husband just looked at his wife and said, "What do I look like, Mr.Plumber?''

A few days went by, and he comes home from work and again his wife asks for a favor, "Honey, the car won't start, I think that it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?"

"What... more

Getting Weighed
Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe.

"I want to get weighed," she said.

They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.

Next the couple went on the ferris wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do.

"I want to get weighed," she said.

Back to the weight guesser they went.

Since they... more