60 Minutes Present
Adam was talking to his friend at the bar, and he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday - she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stuck."

His friend said, "I have an idea! Why don't you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled."
Adam decided to to his friend's advice.

The next day at the bar his friend said, "Well? Did you take my sug... more

Tatoo Gift
It's a couples Anniversary and the woman decides to do something nice for her husband so she goes to a tattoo parlour and says "can I have the initials of my husband tattooed onto my ass please? I would like 'b' on one cheek and 'b' on another cheek."

After the tattoo is finished she goes home pulls her trousers down and bends over infront of her husband and her husband says "Who's Bo... more

Dating A Dentist
A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his pants and washes his hands.

The girl watches him and says, "You must be a dentist."

The guy, surprised, says "Yes ... how did you figure that out?"

The girl says, "Easy... you keep washing your hands." One thing led to another and they make love. After they were done, ... more

Dead Husband
A woman goes to visit a fortune teller. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news.

"There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, the woman stares at the fortune teller's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands.

She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She sim... more

Letters Of Love
A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the doctor notices a red 'H' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue 'Y' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your ch... more

Bad Shape
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup,the doctor
called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a
very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your
husband will surely die." "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Try to be
pleasant in general, and make sure he stays in a good mood. For lunch make him a
nutritious meal. For dinner prepare something nice and heal... more

Advice For Women
Advice From Men To Women...
Never buy a 'new' brand of beer because 'it was on sale.'...

If we're in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn't mean we're not watching it....

Don't tell anyone we can't afford a new car. Tell them we don't want one....

Whenever possible please try to say whatever you have to say during commercials....

Please don't drive when you're not driving....

Don't feel compelled to tell us how all the people ... more

Under The Table
John and Mary were having dinner in a very fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away, noticed that John was ever so slowly sliding down his chair under the table while Mary acted unconcerned.

Their waitress watched as John slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, Mary appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that John had disappeared under the table.

After the waitress finished taking the orde... more

Purifying Water
A train hits a bus load of nuns and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St.Peter. He asks the first nun, "Sister Karen have you ever had any contact with a penis???"
The nun giggles and replies, "Well, once I touched the head of one with the tip of my finger."
St Peter says OK, dip the tip of your finger in the holy water and pass through the gate.
St Peter asks the next nun the same question. "Sister Elizabeth have you ever had any cont... more

Magic Cure
Two nurses are giving a woman in a coma a sponge bath. They notice that when they get near her private areas that she starts to get a little stimulated. The theorize that oral sex will bring her out the coma. They go out into the lobby and tell her husband their theory. The husband is a little aprehensive about it at first, but he agrees to do it. The nurses leave the man with his wife and give him some privacy. They come back about 10 minutes later and the woman is dead! "What happened?" a... more