Who Do You Think I Am?
A man was watching the football game one Sunday morning, when his wife walked into the living room and said, "Honey, the refrigerator doesn't seem to be working very well. Can you take a look at it?"

The husband said, "Who do I look like, the Maytag repairman? I'm watching the game!"

The woman scowled and walked out. About an hour later, she walked back into the living room and said, "Honey, now the toilet is backed up! Can you please take a look at it?"

The man r... more

A Dying Man's Cookies
An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he
suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies
wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and
lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly
made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort
forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both
hands. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame,
gazing into the kitchen. more

Bubba had three daughters
One Saturday evening the door bell rang. Bubba answered the
door, where he was greeted by a young man with bad case of acne.

The boy smiled, and said, "Hi, my name is Joe. I'm here to pick
up Flo. We're going to see a show. Can she go?"

Bubba shook his head, and told his daughter to have a nice time.

A short time later there was a knock at the door. Upon opening
the door Bubba was greeted by another pimple faced boy who smiled
and said, "Hi, my n... more

Use more soap
A woman sends her clothing out to the Chinese laundry. When it comes
back there are still stains in her panties. The next week she encloses
a note to the Chinaman that says,
"Use more soap on panties."

This goes on for several weeks, the woman sending the same note to the
laundry.

Finally fed up the Chinaman responded with his own note that said,
"Use more paper on ... more

One Up
Three young women are at a cocktail party. The conversation turns to their
position in life, and it's clear that they're trying to one-up each other.

The first one says, "My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two
weeks on vacation." She looks at the others with a superior demeanor.

The second one says, "Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes,"
and looks about with considerable pride.

Young woman number three says, "Well, to be pe... more

Don't Mess With Women
One day, this lady is golfing, and she hits her ball in the woods. she goes to look for it, and intead finds a frog in a trap.
Hey, it says. Let me go and I'll grant you 3 wishes.
Ok, she says. So she frees it, and it says,
Sorry, forgot to tell you. whatever you get, your husband gets ten times the amount of whatever it is you wish for.
Ok, fine.
So, the frog asks, what's your first wish?
I want to be the most beautiful women in the world.
Fine, it says. ... more

3 Dumb Guys and a Genie
OK, so there are 3 guys, and they are walking down the beach, when they find an old barnacle-encrusted bottle laying on the shore. One of the guys, says
"Hey look. Its a bottle hehe", and he picks it up and throws it. It cracks against a nearby palm tree, and a blinding flash of white light engulfs them. A deep voice says
"I am a Genie. I have been trapped in that bottle for over a millenium. You have freed me and it is all I can do to give you each 1 wish. Of anything you desire." ... more

Ed Zachary
A woman was very distraught at the fact that she
had not had a date or any sex in quite sometime.
She was afraid she might have something wrong with
her, so she decided to employ the medical expertise
of a sex therapist.

Her doctor recommended that she go see Dr. Chang,
the well known Chinese sex therapist. So she went
to see him.

Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang
said, "OK, take off all you crose."

The woman did as... more

Female at different ages
What's the difference between female at the ages of 8, 18, 28, 38, 48 and 58?

08 - You take her to bed and tell her a story.
18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed.
28 - You don't need to tell her any story and take her to bed.
38 - She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
48 - You tell her a story to avoid going to bed.
58 - You stay in bed all day to avoid her story. ... more

Test Results
Mr. Smith went to the Doctor's office to collect his wife's test results.

The receptionist says, "I'm sorry, sir, but there has been a bit of a mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your wife's. Frankly, that's either bad or terrible."

Mr. Smith says, "What do you mean?"

The receptionist replies, "Well, one Mrs. Smith has tested... more