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One Up


Three young women are at a cocktail party. The conversation turns to their
position in life, and it's clear that they're trying to one-up each other.

The first one says, "My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two
weeks on vacation." She looks at the others with a superior demeanor.

The second one says, "Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes,"
and looks about with considerable pride.

Young woman number three says, "Well, to be perfectly honest with you, we
don't have much money and we don't have many material possessions.
However, one thing I can tell you about my husband is that fourteen canaries
can stand shoulder to shoulder on his erect penis."

After this, the first one looks shamefaced and says, "Girls, I've got a confession
to make: I was just trying to impress you. You know that vacation I was telling
you about? Well, it's not to the French Riviera, it's to my folks' house in Terre
Haute for two weeks."

The second one says, "Your honesty has shamed me. It's not a Mercedes; it's
a Plymouth."

"Well, I've got a confession to make myself," says the third one. "Canary number
fourteen has to stand on one leg".




Featured Joke
A blind man enters a Ladies bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender: "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says: "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair - giving that you are blind - that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl. <...more


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