Toilet Paper
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were walking along the beach. A seagull flies over and craps all over the blonde.

The brunette says in a disgusted voice, "Hang on the bathroom is just up the hill, I'll go get some toilet paper."

After she leaves the blonde begins to laugh.

The redhead says, "What's so funny?"

The blonde says, "Well, blondes are supposed to be so dumb and look at her. By the time she gets back with that toilet paper that seagull will b... more

Death Row
There's a blonde, a red head and a brunette all on death row. They are all out in the desert about to be executed. First up is the brunette. The shooter counts; 1, 2, 3..., and the brunette yells out,"Tornado!" Everybody turns around to see the tornado and the brunette runs away.Next up is the red head. The shooter counts; 1, 2,3..., and the red head yells out," Flood!" Everybody turns around to see the flood and the red head runs away. Next up is the blonde. The shooter counts; 1,2,3...,an... more

Blone Kidnapping
There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles, so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note:

I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag
behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow by 7 AM.

Signed - "The Blonde"

She pinned the note inside the boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.
The next morning, she returned to ... more

Blonde No An Airplane
This guy goes to sit at his plane seat in first class, and finds a blonde there. He says, excuse me miss, but this is my seat. She replies, I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I have a great body and I'm going to Florida. So the guy calls the stewardess over to help him.

He explains the situation to the stewardess, and the stewardess says, miss, your seat is in coach, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave first class. The blonde response, I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I have a great body, and I... more

Fire Escape
A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump in.

The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!" The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away...the Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.

"C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!' say the firemen to the Redhead.

"Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!... more

Blonde Deodorant
A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for a bottom deodorant. "Sorry, we don't sell bottom deodorant" the pharmacist replies, struggling to keep from laughing.

"But I always buy it here", the blonde says. "I bought one last month". Thinking quickly, the pharmacist suggests, " I don't know what you bought before, may be you can bring in the empty container next time". "Sure", the blonde replies. "I'll bring it with me tomorrow"

The next day, the blonde wal... more

Helicopter Lessons
A blonde received a certificate for helicopter flying lessons for her birthday. One day she was bored and decided to take advantage of the opportunity.

When she arrived at the place, the man said "Well, there's only one helicopter here, and it only has one seat, if I show you how to do it, do you mind going up solo?"

"Oh of course! I can handle it" the blonde replied.

Well, he showed her the inner-workings of the helicopter and sent her on her way, only asking ... more

A Blonde With A Gun
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.

The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.

The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "shut up...you're next!"
... more

Stairway To Heaven
There is a blonde, a redhead and a brunette on the stairway to heaven.

God says, "There are 3,000 steps and i'll tell you a joke on each 1,000th step you reach. If you laugh you go to hell."

So they start walking and reach to the first 1,000th step. God tells a joke, the brunette laughs and goes to hell.

Then on the 2,000th step God tells a joke, the redhead laughs and goes to hell.

On the 3,000th step God tells a joke, the blonde doesn't laugh and pro... more

Alligator Shoes
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch ... more